Flashback

flashback.jpg

As far back as I remember, from around the age of 10, I had been the brightest child in the family. I was the light of my parents’ eyes and a brilliant student at school, very obedient and teachers loved me. I clearly remember my first victory, in the school sports day.

I came first in the race. I never knew about this secret horse power within me, but I realized my strength after I looked back from the finish line, panting like a hundred tired horses. I keep talking to my friend on the phone for long hours, telling her about my good old days, bad old days and days that never were.

The corner of my room is my theater, where these moments replay, again and again, in front of my eyes and they perform yet again tonight.

My friend you love to listen to me, isn’t it?

Do you remember those days when I topped the class? Yes, you are right. That was sometime in primary school. My class teacher was so happy. She talked to me personally the first time that day. I had been looking for her all my life before that moment. I think she was my first crush ever.

Good things happened to me all my life. Do you remember my first kiss during the first year of junior college? That was the best day of my life. A love like paradise engulfed both of us. We walked on the beach under the red sun, hand in hand.

Well I’m ill these days and I need to take my pills time-to-time. Let me have them and get back to you, wait.

Gulp.

I am back, my friend. Do you remember when father gifted me car on my 18th birthday? I was the beloved one always. My sister loved me so much. I had bought such a lovely traditional dress for her on her wedding. She looked like an angel that day. Life has passed by so fast after that.

I miss her, my friend. Happiness to me meant being with her, laughing with her, touching her, feeling her, talking to her. I left college for her that year. We had to part. She cried, I cried, the sky cried, as I stood at the door watching her go.

Life is cruel. Do you remember how much pain I went through? My heart broke into a thousand pieces but I somehow manage to build my heart again. I got her back. I put the pieces together but I never found some pieces. She told me I was behaving abnormally.

I don’t know what she meant, did you understand? You know this right? I have been talking to you about her quite often. I love to see my time in the theater again. I remember everything, which never happened.

Why don’t you say something?

Huh, I know. My friend isn’t talkative like me. But I love her. She knows everything about me. She is the only proof of my existence.

Do you really feel that I am abnormal? She left me for the second time. I fell on my knees and tried to stop her. But she left me. I could not cry anymore but I wanted to transcend to another world. I was not keeping well those days but the pills made me feel good. Sometimes, I could see my body lying there in front of my own eyes and sometimes it was near to death experience. Anyway, life had no meaning for me.

I lost my job, I could not pay any attention to work. I hate those dogs. But what hurt me most was that my parents stopped talking to me. My sister resented my company. Why? Tell me why all this has happened? You are the only one left now. And my pills. They make me feel good and you make me feel alive. But I love the flashback I live in. I am thankful to the man who introduced me to those pills; it was the boon.

But my friend never did agree to me, so this time I was real angry and threw the phone on the floor, the phone, which was a remote control, of the theater of my flashback.

Well this was me, two years back. Now, I am quite sane and I have a family again. My doctor says I had been high on drugs, a new genre of drugs—Flashback, but I never realized that those pills kept me addicted all the while. Unlike your girlfriend, addiction is always loyal to you but I betrayed her this time.

I am happy in my new home—THE SECOND CHANCE—rehabilitation home, for the lesser minds that are addicted to Flashback.

 

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