The Art And Craft Of Parenting

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Parenting is the ultimate long-term investment. Be prepared to put far more into it than you get out of it, at least for some time. Given the structure and stresses of contemporary Indian society, the happiness of couples plummets the minute they become parents. And it gets worse before it gets better. In the long run, however, it can be the most rewarding job of your life.

From talking and reading to infants to making values clear, parents exert enormous influence over their children’s development. They are, however, not the only influences, especially after children enter school. It is especially important that parents give children a good start, but it’s also important for parents to recognize that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, and it is the parents’ job to provide an interface with the world that eventually prepares a child for complete independence. In a rapidly changing world, parenting seems subject to fads and changing styles, and parenting in some ways has become a competitive sport.

There is such a thing as over-parenting, and aiming for perfection in parenting might be a fool’s mission. Too much parenting cripples children as they move into adulthood, renders them unable to cope with the merest setbacks, and is believed to be a major cause of failure-to-launch syndrome.

There is such a thing as too-little parenting, and research establishes that lack of parental engagement often leads to poor behavioral outcomes in children, in part because it encourages the young to be too reliant on peer culture.

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10 Little Things Good Parents Do

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Raising children demands a vast set of complex skills that can’t be distilled into a top 10 list. Check it out:

  1. Really listen to your child
  2. Do something familiar
  3. Kiss your partner in front of your child
  4. Read together
  5. Touch your child
  6. Laugh during a tense moment
  7. Find one important thing about your child
  8. Do random acts of kindness together
  9. Be compassionate
  10. Teach importance of happiness in life

Remember, good parents are good friends. All the best and happy parenting.

Parents Are Best teachers

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Parents are the one responsible for providing the needs of their children like love, attention, support, material things and most of all knowledge. Parents are indeed the best teacher of their children; they give knowledge in several ways:

First, they are the one who taught their child to talk in their early age. Mama, Papa was the first words to utter. It was also the moment where the child learned to communicate and express what she or he feels about things around him or her.

Second, they are also responsible for the loco-motors development of their child’s body. The first two steps of their child for walking were facile because of the helping hand patience and enthusiasm given by them.

Third, parents are responsible for helping their child in their first day in school, they taught how to write their names, how to read the ABC, how to sing the different nursery rhymes, how to count and how to deal with his or her classmates and teacher.

Fourth, Parents teach their children to show altruism even in times of ups and downs. They were responsible in molding their child’s character as well as beliefs in life, especially when adolescence period of their children imminent.

This is the best time for the parents to guide and help their children to build their character as the saying goes: A child is the father to a man stating  that the parents character is very significant in molding the character of their child.

Lastly, parents teach their children to befriend God in their life, because having God in life is very important and this will make us a better person.

Parents teach a lot of things from the first step to walk, first words to say, first time to face challenges in life and develop love in their heart for having God in their life. Because of the above statements, indeed our parents are definitely the best teacher in the world.

Self-Compassion In Children

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Over the years, there has been a tremendous emphasis in our society on building children’s self-esteem. I think, it’s high time, we should be teaching children how to develop self-compassion instead.

The problem is that self-esteem is often developed by social comparison, meaning it requires a person to feel special and superior to others on a variety of dimensions. Children feel good about themselves when they get the A, win the game, receive the trophy and sometimes even by putting other children down to make themselves feel better. But this constant comparison needing to be better than other children instills a belief that it is NOT OK to be average.

When things don’t go well, feelings of superiority slip and self-esteem takes a nose dive, leaving kids vulnerable to anxiety, insecurity and depression.

Teach children how to develop self-compassion. Self-compassion is learning to extend understanding, compassion and encouragement to yourself when things don’t go your way, treating yourself the way you would a close and treasured friend. Research shows increasing self-compassion has all the benefits of self-esteem but without the downsides. Unlike self-esteem, self-compassion reduces anxiety, lowers feelings of embarrassment when you mess up, and is associated with steadier and more consistent feelings of self-worth. There are several ways to help foster self-compassion in children, including:

  • Mindfulness: Help them notice things around them, savoring positive experiences when they occur. Teach them how to be present with themselves. Help them learn how to observe non-judgmentally their internal experience, understanding that they don’t have to believe every thought they think, especially the negative ones, and that emotions, like ocean waves rise and fall if you just let them be.
  • Kindness: Kindness begins when we understand that we all struggle. Talk to them in a non-critical way. Teach them how to self soothe during difficult times. Teach older children to put their hand on their heart to self-soothe when upset. These small gestures help them value and feel good about themselves just as they are no matter what is going on. Teach children how to be kind to others. Ask what they did in their day to make someone happy, find volunteer opportunities to do together as a family, encourage your children to write thank you notes, recognize regularly when someone did something nice for another in the family.
  • Compassion: Remind your children that they are not alone in experiencing this difficult thing, other children feel the exact same way. Everyone struggles, feels inadequate, does not get approved of, or fails at something in life. It’s part of our common humanity.  This helps normalize what a child is going through and reduces shame and embarrassment over mistakes made and not feeling good enough. This school year, instead of seeking to become extraordinary and special, encourage your children to find the wonder and marvel of the ordinary. Make these ordinary moments come alive for them. Then the extraordinary will take care of itself.
  • Gratitude: It’s so easy to focus on what’s wrong. Teach your children to focus on what’s right. Studies have shown that children who cultivate gratitude in their lives have better social relationships and do better in school. Make gratitude a part of your daily conversation. During dinner or as part of a bedtime ritual, ask children to share three things they’re grateful for about themselves and their lives. Ask them to reflect on why these things occurred to deepen their appreciation and understanding of the good things in their lives, including aspects of themselves, and not take it for granted.

As we talk about mindfulness, kindness, compassion and gratitude, what we’re really talking about is putting more love out in the world. And that can be one of the most meaningful gifts we can give our children.